The Merry Wives of Windsor (Act 1, Scene 1) “I am sick when I do look on thee.When you think of cowboys, who comes to mind? You might think of one of the many legendary characters played by John Wayne, or maybe the iconic Lone Ranger and his faithful horse Silver. Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 3) “You Banbury cheese!” Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3) “Go, prick thy face and over-red thy fear, Troilus and Cressida (Act 2, Scene 1) “Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!” Titus Andronicus (Act 4, Scene 2) “Thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows” Henry IV Part 2 (Act 1, Scene 2) “Villain, I have done thy mother.” Measure For Measure (Act 3, Scene 1) “You are as a candle, the better burnt out.” Henry V (Act 4, Scene 4) “Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.” Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4) “Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat.” Henry V (Act 5, Scene 2) “This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure.”Īll’s Well That Ends Well (Act 5, Scene 3) “Thou art as fat as butter.” Henry IV Part 1 (Act 3, Scene 3) “Thine face is not worth sunburning.” Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3) “There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.” “More of your conversation would infect my brain.”Ĭoriolanus, (Act 2, Scene 1) “I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.” Shakespeare’s funniest insults and put-downs King Henry IV (Act 2, Scene 4) “I must to the barber’s, monsieur for methinks, I am marvellous hairy about the face: and I am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch.”īottom, in A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream, Act IV, Scene I “Mine eyes smell onions.”Īll’s Well That Ends Well (Act 5, Scene 3) It is like a barber’s chair that fits all buttocks, the pin-buttock, the quatch-buttock, the brawn-buttock, or any buttock.”Īll’s Well that Ends Well (Act 3, Scene 2) (Clown, in response to being told that his answer fits all questions) King Henry IV (Act 2, Scene 4) “There live not three good men unhanged in England: and one of them is fat.” “Virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.”Īll’s Well That Ends Well (Act 1, Scene 1) “I do desire we may be better strangers”Īs You Like It (Act 3, Scene 2) “Come, thou monarch of the vine, Plumpy Bacchus with pink eyne!”Īntony and Cleopatra (Act 2, Scene 7) “If manhood, good manhood, be not forgotten upon the face of the earth, then am I a shotten herring (a herring which has spawned).” So let’s start looking at the funniest Shakespeare quotes: Shakespeare’s best one-liners So in this selection of funniest Shakespeare quotes we’ve stuck to the most amusing Shakespeare insults, a few obviously funny one-liners, and finish with one of Shakespeare’s dirtiest jokes which does require some explanation, but is worth it. Due to the evolution of language since Shakespeare’s time it can often be hard to understand exactly where something amusing is being said when watching or reading Shakespeare… and if you have to explain a joke then it often loses its amusing quality! Whilst Shakespeare plays did have jokes in the. The same cannot be said of Shakespeare’s jokes. On this page, we’ve pulled together a selection of the funniest Shakespeare quotes.Īlthough Shakespeare wrote more than 400 years ago, many of his words are timeless, with the ability to succinctly write about themes that capture universal human emotions, and are highly relatable even today. Each Shakespeare’s play name links to a range of resources about each play: Character summaries, plot outlines, example essays and famous quotes, soliloquies and monologues: All’s Well That Ends Well Antony and Cleopatra As You Like It The Comedy of Errors Coriolanus Cymbeline Hamlet Henry IV Part 1 Henry IV Part 2 Henry VIII Henry VI Part 1 Henry VI Part 2 Henry VI Part 3 Henry V Julius Caesar King John King Lear Loves Labour’s Lost Macbeth Measure for Measure The Merchant of Venice The Merry Wives of Windsor A Midsummer Night’s Dream Much Ado About Nothing Othello Pericles Richard II Richard III Romeo & Juliet The Taming of the Shrew The Tempest Timon of Athens Titus Andronicus Troilus & Cressida Twelfth Night The Two Gentlemen of Verona The Winter’s Tale This list of Shakespeare plays brings together all 38 plays in alphabetical order. Plays It is believed that Shakespeare wrote 38 plays in total between 15.
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