![]() ![]() Men of European decent tended to fall somewhere in the middle (an average of 14.51 cm, or 5.71 inches).“ What they found was that men of African decent tended to report the longest penises (an average of 16.07 cm, or 6.33 inches), while those of East Asian decent tended to report the shortest penises (an average of 10.95 cm, or 4.31 inches). I think it’s fair to automatically adjust Shaq’s proportionality calculated dick ever so slightly higher to accommodate for this.Īctually, some random website I found says “ researchers reviewed penis size reports from 113 countries. It’s a slightly racist but widely accepted notion that black men have larger appendages between their legs than that of other races. Hopefully that comparison is never done in person, but good christ almighty that is a big penis. So basically, if the dick to shoe-size ratio is accurate, Shaq’s dick is just slightly shorter than a typical infant. To put that in perspective, the average human baby is 18 inches long at birth. For Shaq to have a 66% dick to shoe-size ratio, his dick would need to be 15.1 inches long. Buckle up everybody, because this is going to get ridiculous. Meaning my dick to shoe-size ratio is 66%. 13.4 inches? Over a foot long? Now we’re getting somewhere. To get a 4.13% dick to weight ratio, Shaq would need a 13.4 inch long cock. For every 1 inch of boner, I weigh 24.16 lbs. I weigh 145 lbs, meaning my dick to weight ratio is 4.13%. I don’t know if weight implies anything length wise as much as girth, but we’ll see. Curse you God and the genetics you bestowed upon me. This is just rubbing salt in my wounds, knowing that if I was just a few inches taller, my dick would likely more than proportionately grow in size. I’m quite disappointed by these results, because it seems as if there is not a linear dick to height relationship. If that’s the case, Shaq’s dick to height ratio would be much higher at around 11.7%. I have to think at minimum he’s packing 10 inches in his pants. To get a 8.9% dick to height ratio, Shaq’s schlong would only need to be 7.5 inches!? There’s just no way that’s possible. That means if I’m 67 inches tall and my disco-stick is 6 inches long when sprouting a full-fledged erection, I have a dick to height ratio of 8.9% meaning my nightstick represents 8.9% of my total height. We’ll call it 6 to make the math easier and to account for my own measurement bias. Therefore, you shouldn’t be surprised to hear that my boner is roughly 6.2 inches long. Unfortunately to myself and to women across America, I’m only 5’7″. Given the perennial “grower vs shower” dilemma, it would be too hard (ironic) to guess someone’s flaccid penis size. ![]() Any bigger or smaller it would seem out of place.īefore we start, I would like to note that I strictly compared dick proportions under the assumption that they are fully erect. I think this is fair because, as I and most women would tell you, my dick is very proportionate to my small and unimpressive body. We all know that Shaq’s wiener has to be ginormous, but just exactly how big is it? I have taken the liberty to calculate some proportions given the size of my own bald-headed sailor, so we can better guesstimate the potential size of Shaq’s cactus. Given a number of his known physical characteristics such as height, weight, shoe size and blackness, I have to imagine Shaquille O’Neal is sporting one of the longest, strongest hammer cocks outside of Africa’s diminishing population of elephants. I’m not sure what is going to be longer, this blog or Shaq’s dick, but we’re going to find out. ![]()
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